Unreal History

“Got to love a little history!”

I wrote this story in answer to the following prompt:
Friday Fictioneers – Write a 100-word piece based on the Photo Prompt image above – © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Unreal History

“I wonder how life was when this was a bustling castle?” Richard pondered gazing about the ancient yellow-and-grey fortress walls

An old woman smiled and pressed his forehead, “Then know.”

Richard gasped, his world spinning. Bizarre energy tingled through him as the stone walls rebuilt themselves.

Roman soldiers ran about. Some yelling commands, others defending the battlements.

Richard was stunned.

“Transgressor!”

Richard saw three legionnaires pointing at him.

A pilum javelin speared through his spine. He hit the ground, a silent scream frozen on his lips.

“Richard, Get up!” ordered his embarrassed wife.

The old woman behind, grinned, “Gotcha!”

The End


Don’t forget Holly Ward investigates, Stolen Treasures is out on Amazon now!

A recent bank robbery. A saddened man. A coded message. Can they all be connected?
Young Sleuth Holly Ward is determined to help the man. It’s not long before she too comes under assault from a group of dangerous individuals. In the face of intimidation, abduction and even murder can Holly solve the clues and catch the criminals before she becomes the next Stolen Treasure?


Thanks for reading my friends.

There’s more in the Poetry CornerPoetry Nook, and the Short Story Collection

Have a great day!

105 thoughts on “Unreal History

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    1. Hi, Penny thank you! Tough to create a world in one hundred words, let alone a modern and historic one. So yes just a few words here and there to create the effect.

      I was thinking, how would a person send someone back in time. Well, a hypnotist can by using influences around us, simply by the way they suggest it as they knock us to sleep.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Yo, I was totally into it and then a spear comes from nowhere! I actually jumped a bit at that part, as if it happened right in front of me. Extremely powerful story telling, and so succinct! You are one of the few people I know who can, in 100 words, manage to create a bustling world with two plot twists. Hells bells man, my comment is already as long (or darn near) the whole story and it barely says anything; your story had more plot twists than most m night shyamalan movies! 😂🤣😂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s the difference. I write, edit, post without ever really reading. Where as you and my other rreaderrs are just reading and absorbing whats actually there. Thank you for showing me.

        Like

      2. Actually, do what I do: I post after writing and editing. Once it’s posted, it’s in stone so I can’t tinker endlessly. But I open my homepage in a separate tab and I read it as if reading someone else’s blog. Or, I wait until the first comment comes in, positive or negative – I don’t read the comment first. I see that it’s on that post so I open the post in a new tab and just read what I wrote as though it were on another’s page. Then I can understand the comment better.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You know my rule – once written, it’s in stone. That’s why. I can read it, enjoy it (or hate it), but it’s there for better or worse. Tinkering is the death of my writing and always has been. Sometimes (if I see something wrong) I take a piece of paper (or notepad, or word, or whatever is easiest) and I compose an actual comment to myself as if I were writing it to you or someone else. I literally will write something like “paragraph four is a bit confusing. this part has odd punctuation. I would have used a semi-colon here.” Then, if I go to edit, I ONLY use that comment and make those corrections because that’s the READER’S confusion. Everything else is as it should be, that ONE SENTENCE IN THAT ONE SPOT is confusing. I never send a comment to you that’s vague as can be – I don’t always say how to add or remove punctuation, but I will spend some time on that sentence to clearly express why it’s confusing. Since it’s my writing, what’s in my head doesn’t specifically have to be written out, but that is the ONLY thing I can change. Everything else is written in stone because you can only comment on one or two things like that in another person’s writing or you’re basically asking them to change their vision. See what I mean? IN STONE, no tinkering! LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      4. absolutely. I like you comment on things that could be better. You don’t make me feel like I screwed it all up by being focused on the problem at hand and being nice about the why and what to do about it. Which means I can be proud of my stone and just chip out a little bit to make that area shine.

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      5. Honestly, I comment the way I want to be commented on. You’ve done it to me “um… is this a horse or a donkey? I think I missed that part…” That one had me in stitches when I read it. You managed to make it like it was your fault when I simply failed to mention it was a horse for about 9000 pages. I knew it was my own fault, and I knew you had nothing to do with it, and I can take criticism like a champ… but the way you worded it had me laughing my arse off. It took me five minutes to realize it was constructive criticism though. But there are other times where you’ve been like “yeah, this paragraph is …. something. But not quite good” but in your own words. I love it and it makes me refocus. It’s the way people SHOULD help each other. You don’t have to tear the other person down or pretend like the confusion isn’t there. Be a pal. And that’s what you do too.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. For me, having been torn apart by people over my writing and being very sensitive with it at times, I try to be careful not to inflict that upon my fellow writers. So I work hard to find a nice way to point something out if I have to. And also remember to notice all the good things I see with it too.
        Like you say its important to help each other. We cant grow if we dont know how we’re doing.

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      7. Precisely. But I am the opposite of you. sometimes I want a good tearing down if I messed it up. That way I have a better chance of remembering next time. Not to mention, I also understand the difference between someone being critical to actually point something out versus someone being critical because they’re arseholes. You have a tendency to take all of them and lump them into a category of “they’re being critical so they’re right and I’m wrong.” The reality is some people are just always critical. Start from the assumption that the critical person has an opinion that’s probably wrong and not what you were going for, but with a curiosity to see if perhaps they might have some point to their critique (a good place to start is “they have no idea what was in my head, so they’re probably not right, but perhaps I missed a comma in the spot that they’re talking about so there is something to correct in that sentence”). Then YOU decide whether or not it’s worthy of any changes because…. it’s YOUR writing. They didn’t write it. They didn’t create it. They didn’t dream it up in their head and make it a reality. Therefore, by definition, they’re probably wrong.

        For you, flip it. You will read the above words, you will understand them, even agree with them, but they will float out of your consciousness in like five seconds. So flip it.

        You read someone else’s work.
        They created the idea.
        The characters,
        The story.
        You think it’s slightly off in one specific section and want to tell them.
        You would NEVER dream of telling them how they should change their story line because you don’t agree with it.
        You would NEVER dream of telling them they are atrocious writers because you just didn’t get one sentence.
        You would NEVER dream of ripping someone’s work to shreds for the shits and giggles of it all.
        You could NEVER be an arsehole to that degree.
        You would also recognize that doing that is just being a jerk for no real reason other than you feel like taking out some frustration on another person.

        If that’s how you would act – why give others leeway you wouldn’t give yourself.

        Keyboard bullies are keyboard bullies. don’t sweat them. Keep writing your work in your own way. Fooey on them.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Now this would make a great post on how to review the right way!

        I need to be more like you so that when people give me pointers its not like getting hit over the head with a wok.
        As you say need to remember its my work and either they’re just trying to help or being an arse in which case I can say thank you and do nothing or I can say thank you, have a reread and make a little fix

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      9. Here’s the thing you really need to remember: at the end of the day, YOU are the one with all the power. EVERYTHING is merely a suggestion. You agree or disagree and that’s the end of the road for that suggestion. That’s it. Letting it have free real-estate in your subconscious for life is totally not worth the cost. Your mind is your property – no one has the right to just pop over and set up a tent and live for free…. unless you let them.

        Liked by 1 person

      10. For sure, I got to remember to breathe and say, ‘This is my story do I like it as it is?’ then decide whether to heed the advice or move on. Then its no problem.

        Like

      11. That’s too much for me to remember LOL

        Me: “Go to hell. It’s perfect! But lemme check real quick because you’re a turd.”

        I don’t mean any of that, but it’s a natural thought process for me LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      12. No… I mean it doesn’t come naturally to them like it does for me. For them, they have to think just as much to get that reaction as the would to onvince themselves to breathe. No, I’m not shy either. You wouldn’t be reading a message you’d be hearing it LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      13. Yeah, that’s insane o’clock for someone who is not settling down for some dinner. Who the hell wants to be bothered by an annoying woman on Zoom who has a crepe you don’t? Pfft. I hope the book is good!

        Liked by 1 person

      14. Oh you’re not annoying at all. I do love me some french crepes with peaches and creme too!

        Andy Mcdermott is the author who taught me how to write a heart racing action scene! He is awesome! The books follow archeologist Nina Wilde and her bodyguard turned Husband Eddie from the SAS as they go in search of massive treasures like, atlantis, Herculeses tomb, excalibur etc. Eddie swearing and cursing the whole way through explosions, car chases, fights and rooms full of traps. Awesome lol!

        Like

      15. Chocolate and banana crepes for me! Also, spicy crab. 🤤

        Those books sound fun! I never took tips on action sequences from other authors… but strange and off-beat humor is what I focus on with other people’s writing. Piers Anthony is my go-to.

        Liked by 1 person

      16. Oh yummy! I hope the crab isn’t with the banana though!

        It’s not so much the taking tips. It’s more remembering how I feel when reading his action scenes and channeling that. I try to ‘Feel’ my characters in the moment you see.

        Piers Anthony is good. I got at least one of his here somewhere.

        Like

      17. Not in the same crepe but def at the same time! You get the spicy crab for dinner and the banana chocolate for dessert. Perfection!

        I know exactly what you mean. For me, I’ve always been in the moment with my characters. I also don’t really write a ton of action sequences – my characters tend to be as lazy as I am LOL

        Xanth is totally my jam!

        Liked by 1 person

      18. That works and makes for a great meal. Although I’m not a fan of food that needs a fire extinguisher, I don’t mind a bit of spice though.

        My mum and dad used to hate me writing with Holly because she was so real to me that if she was mad I mad too, if she was upset, I would be crying with her.

        Xanth is the long series in the fantasy world isn’t it. Great stuff!

        Like

      19. I don’t do super spicy. It’s just got enough kick for your tongue to go “ooo, NICE TOUCH!”

        Xanth is something like 3000 books or something now (closer to 50 I think), and I have every one except the last one.

        Liked by 1 person

      20. That’s it. Anything above that level leaves unable to taste anything and needing to drain the fish tank to put the inferno out!

        3000 that hurts my hands just thinking about it!

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      21. LOL. It’s worth every hand cramp for good stories!

        I don’t understand folks that seem to have a strange desire to burn their tongues off. It’s not tasty, it doesn’t enhance the experience, it just makes you more inclined to drown yourself in milk.

        Liked by 1 person

      22. Indeed but mine go numb eventually not fun!

        I think it’s arousing for them. The pain and chemicals in chilli’s can release pleasuring hormones in the brain I think.

        Like

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