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The Honeyfuggler

This story was written in answer to The Word of the Day Challenge –
Honeyfuggle.

Here’s my story …

The HoneyFuggler

Chet wasn’t a nightclubber, he preferred a nice quiet night in with a good book and a cup of tea. Tonight, to win a bet however he’d bitten the bullet and entered the Iceni Nightclub in Norwich’s clubland. Chet looked smart and stylish in his expensive jeans, a fashionable grey sports jacket, shirt and shiny brown shoes. He also looked nervous and out of place as he looked around the room of flashing and dancing lights through tidy black-framed glasses.

“Why did I come here?” he said to himself. The loud dance music ensured nobody could hear him. He propped himself against the black and chrome bar and looked toward the door. Asher and Rufus from the office should be here already.

“Can I get you a drink?” asked the bartender flexing a muscle as he gripped a beer tap.

“Oh, err. Why not. I’ll take a bottle of spring water please.” Chet answered loudly to beat the music.

The bartender grinned. “Adventurous type, I like that in a man.”    

“Cheers!” Chet replied.

“Single?”

“Always.” Chet handed over some money for the water.

“Thanks. Why always?” the bartender winked at him.

Chet knew his game. “Well. I’m not gay and everybody else is these days. So no love for me.”

“Pity.” The bartender moved on.

“You, sure, sugar?”

Chet sipped his water before realising the voluptuous and beautiful blonde lady was talking to him. She’d put a little black belt on and called it a mini-skirt. Her black-and-white buttoned bustier left little to the imagination as well. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi, yourself, handsome.” She batted her long lashes over her enchanting blue eyes and ran a hand over his shoulder as she joined him. “I’m Dana.”

“Chet, nice to meet you.”

“Hi, Chetty,” she purred seductively. “Nice to kiss you too,” she leant in and parked one on his cheek.

Chet felt a little affronted but said nothing.

“So, I saw you come in alone. That’s sad, darling.”

“Seems my friends ghosted me.” Chet sighed.

“Aww, I’m sorry, Chetty.” Dana smoothed her fingers through his hair, tousling and teasing it. “Want to spend the night with me, instead?”

Chet looked at her and smiled. “What you got in mind?”

“Some of this.” Dana took his hand and led him to the dancefloor. She raised her arms and twirled about him. Pressing her curvaceous behind into his stomach and running her fingers over his body as she gyrated about him. “Having fun, Chetty. I love the smell of your aftershave by the way.”

“You smell rosy yourself.” Chet took her bare waist, enjoyed the feel of her warm, supple skin and let her continue to seduce him with her dancing. “Why do I feel like you entice men like this often?”

Dana chuckled. “Only, those I love.” she let her hand slide down his back and pinched his bum.

“Easy now!” he said with a grin.

“Hmm, taught and perky. Can’t wait to get those jeans off you.” Dana said.

Chet felt his heart jump in his chest. He was sweating in seconds at those words. Gulping down the shock he wiped his steamed-up glasses. “You w-want to d-do what?”

Dana took his hand again. “Come on, we’ll go to my boudoir and I’ll show you.” She led him from the club and turned toward the river.

Chet took deep breaths of the cooler fresher air. “Wow! You move fast! I bet Asher and Rufus paid you to seduce me.”

“Who are they, Chetty?” Dana asked.

“My workmates. The only reason I’m here instead of having an adventure with one of my favourite book characters,” Chet explained glumly.  

“I thought you were a little geeky,” Dana said as they wandered beneath the river bridge. She turned him to the wall and slid his glasses off. He watched as she closed the arms and stuffed them down her bustier.  

“I need —”

“It’s okay, Chetty. You’re allowed to reach in there and get them back.” She told him with a wink and roll of her tongue as she moved in to kiss him.

Chet placed a nervous hand on her chest and kissed back. He felt her hand enter his pocket and fumble around.

Dana turned his front to the wall and kissed his neck as she rubbed against him and then she moved away. “I’ve changed my mind. You’re too nervous to have fun with.” She flashed his wallet, car keys and phone in her hand and strutted away.

Chet stepped up behind her. “Will the honeyfuggler place her hands behind her back. She is under arrest.”

“Honeyfuggler? Oh, Chetty. Are you getting kinky to try and impress me?” Dana turned around.  “You’re adorable.”

Chet grinned. “To honeyfuggle is to deceive or cheat someone by talking to them nicely. You thought you deceived me into leaving the club so you could steal my belongings. That is theft and thus illegal.”

“Perhaps, I did.” Dana flashed his effects again.

“Sorry, Dana. The honeyfuggler has been honeyfuggled herself.” Chet pointed to her hand. “Open the wallet.”

Dana did, revealing Chet’s police credentials. “You played me?”

“For weeks men have reported being cheated out of their belongings by a woman in various guises. The police had no luck finding her and so poor, lonely Chetty had to catch you.”

“I hate you!” Dana hurled Chet’s stuff and ran straight into two police officers.

“Meet Officer Asher and Constable Rufus.” Chet put his things in his pockets and approached Dana. He reached into her bustier and retrieved his glasses. “You should know, I don’t need these, they’re just ordinary glass. You don’t need your hair, do you.”

“What?”

Chet pulled her wig off revealing shorter brown hair beneath. “Hello, Gade Harrison, we’ve been looking for you for a long time. And now, you’re nicked!’

The End


Thanks for reading my friends. As always there are more stories and poems to be enjoyed (I hope) in the Short Stories and Short Stories 2 and Poetry Corner tabs.

Have a great day!

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