Trust me its Codswallop!

This story was written in answer to The Word of the Day Challenge. 
I made use of two word prompts today Trust and Codswallop

Trust means: Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

Codswallop means: Something spoken or written which is utter nonsense.

Here’s something a little different that came of theses words …

Trust Me its Codswallop!

“Here ya are, George. A nice cold pint a beer for ya.”

“Cheers, Jack … Ahh, just what the doctor ordered on this scorching hot day.”

“So, are ya really serious about publishing that book er yours.”

“Course I am, it’s a good one. People will love it. Needs an edit first mind you.”

“I heard people do that beta reading ter do that. Ya give the manuscript ter other writers and they tell ya what ter change.”

“Ha! Bugger that, Jack. I don’t want to have six different stories; one for each beta reader to make them happy. Nah, I’ll just pay for an editor. Trust me, that’ll be the easiest way. I’ve researched it you see.”

“Fair enough … Nice pint this. So, then what, Self-publishing or Traditional?”  

“Either or, they both get the same result in the end. The only difference is the Traditional route does it for you and takes all the profits.”

“No codswallop there. Someone’s always after ya bloody money, George.”

“Trust me, I know. Even in self-publishing, it’s going to cost me an arm and a leg, just to get my book published.”

“Codswallop, that is. I’ve seen the ads ya can Self-publish for free on that there Amazon thing.”

“Trust me, Jack. Buy the time you get the edits done, covers made, layouts done and everything else to make the book worth buying it’ll cost you a thousand quid.”

“Bloody hell, George! You need ter sell a lot of books then.”

“Yup, and even then, with a thousand quid spent you’ll never sell a single copy. You see on amazon a book is completely invisible. It’s like a print book locked in a safe; nobody will ever see it. To sell any copies you have to make it visible with promotions. So, that’s another thousand at least on top.”

“Struth, I wouldn’t have anything to do with that codswallop. Not at that much expense. Why don’t ya get an agent? Have them get ya a proper publisher.”

“Trust me that’s a bad idea. I researched it you see. The publisher takes seventy per cent and the agent twenty per cent. So, I wrote the book and I’d get ten pence a sale if I’m lucky. That’s if I avoid all the criminals.”

“Criminals? Now ya talking more codswallop. This is publishing not black-market trading.”

“Trust me, Jack. Out of a hundred publishers, ninety of them are only after your money. Some of them just steal books, others spend nothing on making them special or promoting. They just stuff them on the market looking like crap and move on to screwing the next stupid author while you get naff all.”

“So, how do ya do well at authoring then, George?”

“You find and strangle a leprechaun, steal his pot of gold and pour it into publishing and promoting. The more money you put in; the more you’ll get out of it.”

“Ah, Leprechaun gold’s worthless. It vanishes after a while, that wizard with the glasses said so.”

“Ha-ha, yeah, he did,”

“So, come on, George. Now ya told me all this codswallop. How ya really going ter publish ya book?”  

“Trust me, Jack. When I find out I’ll let you know.”

The End.


Thanks for reading my friends. As always there are more stories to be enjoyed (I hope) in the Short Stories tab.

Have a great day!

3 thoughts on “Trust me its Codswallop!

Add yours

    1. Thank you for reading, Dora.
      I’m in the same boat as him. I have a series of books that will forever go unpublished. I cannot succeed with self-publishing or traditional and so if I have no answer neither sadly does George.

      Liked by 1 person

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